The Beginning,, 1998

Lets take a few steps back and start with my mom and dad's split up (I never really said anything about that).  After many years of dealing with my father's alcoholism, the non-stop fighting between my mom & dad, and all the indiscretions - My mom finally said enough,, she threw him and his stuff of out of the house (literally) and he got what he could in his van and moved back to Kentucky. My mom tried to make it on her own, but Florida (especially the city we were living in) is an expensive place to live. So (if I am remembering correct) she moved to Tennessee to stay with my aunt until she got back on her feet in either the end of April 1998 or beginning of May 98. 

I stayed and moved in with RjL. I tried to make it work with him, but there was too much fighting and once I was living with him our fights got a lot more physical. I called my mom once, and she got me a bus ticket to Tennessee, but I didn't stay long (just long enough to get a job and get money for a bus ticket back down there). But I once again had to call her, this time she borrowed a van and came and got me. Lord, this was all from May to July of 98. I put a lot on my mom that summer. I'm sorry for that mom. 

Once I decided that I was not going back to RjL, and I was going to stay in Tennessee,, things got pretty good. I had cleaned my act up, no more smoking pot or doing other drugs. Around August of 98, I got set up on a date with the a pretty decent guy. I got a job at an in home daycare and things were going pretty damn good. The guy I was seeing played drums and wrote music,, he was in a little band and they had me singing some of the songs (I've always loved to sing and write). I got my first tattoo, my tribal butterfly.  Life was good for that moment in time.

Let's see,, I do believe it was towards middle of September 1998 that the guy I was seeing and I went to one of his friends house's to go swimming. We were all sitting around the table beside the pool (it was a cool afternoon & no one had gotten in the pool yet.) Then in come walking this attractive red-head with mirrored sunglasses (I had never seen him before), no introductions were made. Someone finally got up and jumped in the pool, so at this point I was decided I was going to go dive in too. Didn't stay in long though (it was freaking cold!!) I got out of the pool, and even through those dark mirrored sunglasses, I could tell this mysterious stranger was watching my every move. I finally said something to him (don't remember what I said, just remember that it was a smart-ass little comment). He laughed (& he came back with an equally smart-ass little comment too, I smarted off right back and he followed up with a 'well by God') and then he smiled and took his sunglasses off and introduced himself as Jack. Right at that moment I was smitten, I'd met my match (or so I thought). After a bit of all of us sitting around bull-shitting,, we all decided to jump in the pool. After it started to get to cold to be in the pool,, we decided to go riding around back-roads, Jack and I talked quite a bit that night,, but I never saw what was going to happen coming.

Jack starting bringing himself around more and more. The guy I was seeing thought he was coming to see him,, but in fact he was coming around so he could see me. Jack started showing up where me and the guy I was seeing would be out at. Cheers was our main go and hang out place (mind you I was only 18) but I very rarely drank, unless Jack was around. He had a way with people, way of getting them to do what he wanted or thinking what he wanted them to think. He also had a way of finding trouble. One night some guy at the bar was being a big time ass towards me (grabbing my ass, trying to dance with me when I didn't want to dance w/ him & then started saying some really belligerent stuff to me)  and the guy I was seeing would not do anything about it,, so Jack got in a fight with that guy. 

Jack invited the guy I was seeing and several other people to go to a bar in Jackson. That night was the first night I'd ever drank crown and coke. I had a blast. I danced the night away with him and lots of people. We had a fantastic night. After the bar closed, we all decided to go to IHOP, something was wrong the guy I was seeings car, so he ran to Walmart to get whatever it was to fix his car and left me there with Jack. He and I had gone outside to smoke and that's when I found out how he felt about me. 

We were all to tipsy to drive back from Jackson to South Fulton, so we stayed with one of Jack's friends in Jackson. After everyone had fallen asleep,, I got up and walked outside and Jack followed. We walked down to this open field, it was a beautiful night it was cold but the stars were shining bright and it was a full moon. Jack gave me his long sleeve shirt he had on. I'd never had a guy treat me like the way he was treating me. Then he kissed me. I'd never cheated on anyone before, so I felt horrible about the kiss. We stood there talking about what was going to happen between us until the sun was coming up and then we walked back to the house. Guy I was talking to was outside, sitting on the steps. I asked Jack to give me a minute, but Jack didn't move away to far. I told the guy I was seeing that Jack & I kissed and I thought it was best if we didn't see one another anymore & I told him I wanted to be with Jack. Of course he got angry and tried to snatch me up, but Jack stepped up and told him there was no need in that. He went in the house and woke the other people that came down to Jackson with him, got them in the car and they left. This was October 1998. 

Within a few days of us seeing each other, he'd pretty much had me moved in with him. Things were happening so fast, but it felt ok and good. In the beginning he was such a great guy. He even took the time to go introduce himself to my mom, because after the guy I was seeing and I split up and I got together with Jack people were telling my mom all sorts of stuff of about Jack. After my mom and Jack had sat down and talked, my mom still had a bad feeling about him and told me I shouldn't see him, but I was 18 (I was stubborn & you couldn't tell me anything-I've always been a tad bit stubborn) and didn't want to hear anything anyone had to say, especially someone telling me not to be with someone I thought hung the moon.

Jack took me places and did things with me, things I'd always wanted to do. With the guy I'd been seeing before Jack, I didn't really meet many people, Jack started introducing me to lots of people. He knew it seemed like everyone!! Some of these people, I didn't know at the time were his dope doing buddies. Wasn't long until I figured that out though. Guess it wasn't long before he asked me to get high with him,, but he did something that I'd always said I would NEVER do.... meth

I told him no until I was blue in the face about using it... But like I've said he had this way of getting people to do what he wanted them to do. And I ended up being one of those people. It came to the point of him saying,, you either try this or we are over. So I gave in one night. This was the beginning of a long standing battle with him. The battle that almost took my life....