I honestly came to a point where I could give a shit care less about school.... I'd much rather be at the beach or at a party. RjL was still my boyfriend.... He had dropped out the beginning of 10th grade.... I started skipping ALOT of school, I'd go to his house and smoke weed.... Which led to more....
Once I got my first car, I only went to school on days that we had tests (my friends would let me know when a test was coming up, so I'd show - then leave as soon as I took the test), I was still passing though,, A & B student.... Used to sit in my car or someones car and smoke a J during school, Drugs started becoming my life.....
Towards the middle of tenth grade, I tried ACID.... Loved it.... (How stupid was that) Started going to raves,,, started doing ecstacy (trolling was my thing - acid/x mix ~tripping and rolling at same time)
Tenth grade came to an end, I pretty much lived with RjL that summer (big mistake) Things would go ok,,, but when he'd get high, he'd become a different person.... Controlling, Jealous, & flat out mean... Started pushing me around, I remember his mom (who's smaller than me) having to get him off of me.... I'd go home after one of his violent incidents and run right back.... I started having to sneak out (my mom hated RjL) She turned me in as a runaway more than once....
We had many parties doing very bad things at hotel rooms.... Drugs were everywhere.... And I was usually right in the middle of all of it.
One night RjL beat the shit out of me, I escaped him by getting out a window,, called my mom and she came and met me where I told her to.... She was livid.
Summer ended, 11th grade started. I took RjL back OF COURSE!! I spent the year, skipping classes and just being a party girl. Half the time when we did party,, I was like "mama" taking care of the ones who were having bad trips or bad ecstasy experiences. Then came homecoming.... I was up for queen. I was SOOOOO pissed when I lost to this chick in band.... Everyone told me (including some teachers) that I couldn't win because of my reputation. that's that....
Then come prom.... I pay for everything (well me and my uncle) including RjL's tux. My mom got us a room with a hot tub in it... We stayed at prom for MAYBE a hour, then we went to the hotel. Were he invited bunch of his friends.... He ended up pushing me around that night because I didn't want to do cocaine.... So I stayed in the hotel room alone for a while, then ended up leaving.....
After prom, I quit school. STUPIDEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!!
RjL and I broke up not long after I quit school (I found out he was cheating on me). I had the greatest summer of my life!! FREEDOM!! I met some great people, expanded my horizons, spent lots of time with friends which I wasn't allowed to do when we were together (I wasn't allowed to be friends with anyone but his friends-fucked up right) Me and Shay and Dawnn hung out all the time, we were unseperable. I was still partying and partying hard.... Great memories made that summer!!!
Shortly there after my mom moved back to Tennessee.... RjL and I had gotten back together at the end of the summer & I decided to stay in Florida with him. That did not last long,,, I was cooking spaghetti and he didn't like the pan I chose to cook with, so he hit me in the side of the head with the pan. I freaked out on him... Beating him with anything I could get my hands on... Then he was all I'm so sorry baby, I didn't do anything wrong... WHatEVER!!
I called my mom and she sent me a greyhound ticket. I came to TN,,, only to go back less than a month later.... HOW DUMB.... I thought he would change I was wrong.... Within two weeks of me being back, he was pushing me around again and we were non stop fighting.
I came back to Tennessee....
Then comes the next chapter,,,, Jack JR
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Thank you so much for your comments. If you need to talk or need help you can always contact me here and leave your email and I will get back to you, but if you are needing help getting out of a potentially violent situation call the Domestic Violence National Hotline 1-800-799-7233